The Lonely
by SixesandSevens
Summary: A Caryl songfic featuring Christina Perri's The Lonely.


_AN: Sorry for the format on some of the lyrics. The computer decided that's how they were gonna be. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

Carol lay in bed, a river of silent tears running down her cheeks. She lay on her side, staring at the left side of the bed. Empty. She reached out to touch it. Cold. Forever empty. Forever cold. She'd never sleep on that side of the bed again. It wasn't her side to claim. The thought tore at her heart, and she turned her head, burying her face in the pillow to stifle a sob.

_2am; where do I begin,_  
_Crying off my face again._  
_The silent sound of loneliness __Wants to follow me to bed._

After the farm had been overrun they wandered, barely managing to get by, for weeks. Finally, they happened upon a cabin deep in the country. While they never let themselves fall back into the complacency that they'd maintained on the farm, the place was safe and secure.

It was a godsend, large enough to house them all pretty comfortably; close enough to a small town to go on supply runs and return the same day, but far enough away that they didn't feel right on top of it. Everyone began to rebuild and heal, resulting in some strange extended family with smaller 'immediate' families within.

It was such a happy time. For the apocalypse.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most._  
_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well._

She stood in the living room of the cabin late one night, she could only guess the time. No one knew trivial things like that anymore. She looked down at her hand, at the ring fashioned from strong, smooth grasses, braided together. It was simple and rustic, but absolutely perfect. She loved that ring. She began swaying back and forth, quietly singing _By Your Side by Sade_ to herself. He asked her one day if she knew the song. When she'd told him she did, he declared it their song. That was a good day.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room,_  
_Can the lonely take the place of you?_  
_I sing myself a quiet lullaby._  
_Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again._

She stood in the doorway of the bedroom. She just stared at the bed, unmoving. Unable, for several minutes, to bring herself to move forward and lay down. Finally, she moved numbly to the bedside and sat on the edge, resolving to lay down. Knowing she'd be alone again this night, and the night thereafter. No arms to wrap around her, keeping her safe and warm. Just warm memories and bitter tears to accompany her on the way to sleep.

_Too afraid to go inside For the pain of one more loveless night._  
_But the loneliness will stay with me And hold me til I fall asleep._

Their time together was shortlived. They both had issues, but they made it work. And in all honestly, it was probably the happiest either of them had ever been. There was no need for anything official. He just came to her one day, two braided rings in his hand, one a bit larger than the other, and asked if he'd let her make her his. They exchanged the rings, said I love you and sealed it with a kiss. When they told the others, the reaction was one of excitement. That night they had a small celebration, even dipping into their stores of 'antiseptic' a bit.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most._  
_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well._

Everything had been going well for a few months. She should have known it wouldn't keep up. It was too good to be true. Maybe if she'd been more prepared... No, nothing could have prepared her for this pain.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room,_  
_Can the lonely take the place of you?_  
_I sing myself a quiet lullaby._  
_Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again._

He went on a supply run. It was routine, something he'd done several times before. Hell, he'd done plenty of things way more dangerous. But it went all wrong. When they came back and hauled him out of the car, supporting his nearly dead weight, she could swear her heart stopped. Bit, they said. Bit. How could that happen? How could he get bit?

They told her that he'd taken up the rear, fending off a semi-small group of walkers as they ran, buying the others time to get the supplies to the truck. But then a new one appeared out of nowhere. In front of him and behind the others. And at just the wrong moment.

She went to his side, where they'd lain him on the couch.

"I didn't want them to bring me back. Too dangerous." He'd whispered to her.

Tears filled her eyes and spilled over, but she made a valiant effort to keep her voice steady. "I'm glad they did. I can't believe I have to say goodbye to you, but I think it'd be worse to not get to even do that."

"I'm so sorry, Carol." He breathed from too-pale lips.

"I love you, Daryl. So much." She couldn't contain the sob that escaped her.

"I love you, too." His voice was so quiet now, she could barely hear him. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. And then he was gone.

_Broken pieces of _

_A barely breathing story _

_Where there once was love _

_Now there's only me and the lonely._

After she lost Daryl she didn't know if she could recover. Losing Sophia had nearly broken her. The only thing that had kept her going was Daryl's support. And without that... She felt that each day she was just going through the motions. Doing what had to be done, for no other reason than refusing to admit defeat. He wouldn't want her to give in. And every night, she would curl up on the bed, the tears flowing freely and the pain ripping her shattered heart apart a little bit more, taking care to stay on the right side.

Because the left side wasn't hers to claim. It would be forever empty. Forever cold.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room Can the lonely take the place of you?_

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again._


End file.
